saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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