youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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