we have officially lost it.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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