what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
