I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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