I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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