You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize