Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
