just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I have already put on my inside pants.
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