What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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