can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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