tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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