ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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