So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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