aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
