I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
