I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize