Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
