i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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