hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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