Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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