is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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