So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
