no, he came in my armpit
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize