check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
