I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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