True but thats because hes a fetus.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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