mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
