I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There's always time for handjobs
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
