watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
