He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
