"it" just moved
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
