turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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