I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
