I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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