Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
