All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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