what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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