I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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