my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He shit in the fireplace
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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