I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
