these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
