Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
