she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
