dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
