"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
wrigley field is MILF paradise
babies were throwing up all over the place
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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