I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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