speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
