what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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