Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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