I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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