I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
