Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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