she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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