Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
