Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
