it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
