i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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