Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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